I bought a bunch of burritos from an Indian market that were just kind of chilling in the open air by the register. Here's my review of those burritos as a novice food critic.
Burrito 1: The succulence of the chicken was near non-existent, but it paired quite well with the filling which was some kind of white substance, which I sincerely hope was sour cream. The texture of the tortilla kept my mouth excited by continually changing from soggy and cold to burned and impregnable. Much of the burrito was inedible, and instead of crunchy, it was simply solid. I’m convinced a main ingredient was Wolverine’s bones. It would pair nicely with a port. 2 1/2 stars.
Burrito 2: This burrito was quite spicy. It was the kind of spiciness that makes your eyes tear up, like when putting gas in your car. It was an odd color burnt orange, and to liven things up I doused it in mint chutney, because why not, the chutney is free here. 1 star
Burrito 3: This one was just two mozzarella sticks stuck together. 5 stars