Two pale silver roses propped against a sign reading Be My Valentine and a tiny heart
Two pale silver roses propped against a sign reading Be My Valentine and a tiny heart
#humansandmachines, #valentinesday, #beingsingleisok

5 Reasons Why Valentine's Day Matters, Even if You're Flying Solo

Paul Kiernan

However, if you find yourself flying solo on this day, it's easy to dismiss Valentine's Day as just another commercialized holiday.

Well, it is Valentine’s Day, the one day that makes the month of February, aside from it being Black History Month, a month that so many folks look forward to. Or dread. There’s dread over Valentine’s Day. Lots and lots of dread.

The whole idea of ThoughtLab’s human and machine articles has been centered around Valentine’s Day. Why? Because it’s a very human day. I plugged Valentine's Day into my AI program, and it said, “Really? You’re still looking for a date. C’mon, give it up.” I … I don’t think that’s a particularly human response. Do you?

Anyway, it is my usual wont to rail against this day, to pound the desk and say unfair, what about all of us who … blah, blah, blah … you know the drill. If you’re single, today is singles awareness day. You seeth at the sight of every rose, every heart-shaped mylar balloon. All around you, there are reminders that you are single and you have no place or purpose on this day.

Well, that’s just not true. Not at all. Today, I offer you this bit of refuge, this tiny oasis in the desert of dating. Even if you’re single, this day still has a purpose, and you should find time to celebrate, not hide, not mope, and not begrudge those who are in love. Celebrate because today isn’t about being single or a thrupple; today is about the very human emotion of love.

Let the Love In

Valentine's Day, often dubbed the day of love, is associated with romantic dinners, flowers, chocolates, and all things sweet and romantic. However, if you find yourself flying solo on this day, it's easy to dismiss Valentine's Day as just another commercialized holiday. Yet, there are compelling reasons why Valentine's Day matters, even for those who aren't in a romantic relationship. In this article, we'll explore five reasons why this day holds significance, regardless of your relationship status.

Celebration of All Forms of Love

Valentine's Day isn't solely about romantic love; it's a celebration of all forms of love. Whether it's the love between friends, family members, or even the love you have for yourself, this day serves as a reminder to appreciate and cherish those connections. Flying solo doesn't mean you're devoid of love in your life. Take this opportunity to reach out to friends and family, express your gratitude, and strengthen those bonds. Engage in acts of kindness, such as sending a heartfelt message, spending quality time together, or simply expressing your love and appreciation. Valentine's Day is a perfect occasion to celebrate the diverse relationships that enrich our lives beyond romantic partnerships.

An endless pile of tiny colored hearts with messages on them

Self-Love and Self-Care

Amidst the hustle and bustle of daily life, it's easy to neglect oneself. Valentine's Day provides an excellent opportunity to prioritize self-love and self-care. Treat yourself to a spa day, indulge in your favorite meal, or engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Practicing self-love isn't selfish; it's essential for your overall well-being. Use this day to reflect on your accomplishments, acknowledge your strengths, and embrace your flaws with compassion. Remember, the most important relationship you'll ever have is with yourself. So, take this Valentine's Day as a cue to nurture that relationship and cultivate a deeper sense of self-love and acceptance.

Reflection and Gratitude

While Valentine's Day often prompts us to focus on our relationships with others, it also offers an opportunity for introspection and gratitude. Take some time to reflect on the love and experiences you've encountered throughout your life. Express gratitude for the lessons learned, the challenges overcome, and the growth achieved. Even if you're flying solo at the moment, acknowledge the love that has shaped you into the person you are today. Gratitude has the power to shift our perspective and foster a greater sense of contentment and fulfillment. Use Valentine's Day as a moment to count your blessings and appreciate the abundance of love that surrounds you, both internally and externally.

Empowerment and Independence

Being single on Valentine's Day doesn't equate to loneliness or inadequacy. Instead, it can be a celebration of empowerment and independence. Use this day to revel in the freedom to pursue your passions, explore your interests, and chart your own course in life. Embrace your autonomy and recognize that being single affords you the opportunity to prioritize your personal growth and development. Whether it's pursuing a new hobby, embarking on a solo adventure, or focusing on your career goals, Valentine's Day serves as a reminder that you are whole and complete on your own. Take pride in your independence and use it as a source of strength and empowerment.

Redefining Love and Connection

Valentine's Day offers a chance to redefine our perceptions of love and connection. Instead of solely focusing on romantic relationships, broaden your definition of love to encompass all forms of meaningful connections. Celebrate the friendships that bring laughter and support into your life. Cherish the bonds with family members who have stood by you through thick and thin. Embrace the love that exists within your community and the world at large. By expanding our understanding of love, we create a more inclusive and compassionate society. So, even if you're flying solo on Valentine's Day, recognize that you are never truly alone. Love is all around us, waiting to be acknowledged and embraced in its myriad forms.

A small red felt heart sewn to a yellow square of muslin clipped to a twine line with a clothespin

Now, some help for the couples. It’s the day, not the day before; it’s the day you haven’t gotten that special someone a gift. This could be bad. If you’re just starting the relationship, this is a big one; you must bring the thunder. If you’ve been in a relationship for a while and you forget the day or give the wrong gift, that could have repercussions moving forward. So, here are five last-minute gifts NOT to give to your significant other today.

Terrible Last-Minute Valentine’s Day Gifts

So, it goes without saying that giving nothing is a bad choice. Even if you think she said we are just letting the day go by, no gifts, no dinners, just being together is enough. You have to get a gift, so nothing is never an option.

Another bad idea would be a break-up phone call, email, letter, or text. Do not end a relationship on Valentine’s Day.

Bad gifts

  1. Cheap flowers. Dropping by the gas station on the way to your partner’s house and grabbing the last sagging bunch of flowers from the stained white bucket at the door. Bad. Nothing says I forgot today was the day, but I still want some nookie, like a cheap bunch of flowers.
  2. Cheap Chocolate. A bag of M&M’s from the seasonal aisle at Kroger is not wise. Especially now when you can get great, high-end chocolates online from exotic places with beautiful flavors. Grabbing the family-size bag of cheap chocolate says: “I love you so much that I put the most minimal effort into this gift.
  3. Dental Hygiene Products. This should be a no-brainer, but you’d be surprised. Toothbrush or toothpaste, mouthwash, or even floss, do not do it. It says, before I kiss you, would you mind …
  4. Home Made Love Coupons. This may sound like a good idea, but think about it. You give your partner a coupon for ‘love,’ and then they have to redeem it. You have to check the expiration date, and if it’s expired by one day, they may ask to talk to the manager, and then you might be forced into offering your services at a discount. Also, what’s the chance that your partner, ready to redeem their love coupon, will have I.D. on them? And if they do, where are they keeping it?? This also takes out all the spontaneity.
  5. A Cliche Gift Basket. Sure, it’s easy and convenient, and it says, look, here’s an easy, convenient gift. Someone else did the choosing, and there will surely be something in here you’ll like, right? If you’re going to do a gift basket, build one yourself and make it specific and memorable.

Okay, with those out of the way, we now move to last-minute gifts that aren’t going to get you a one-way ticket to the couch.

Good Gifts

  1. Lacy Underthings. Know their size and spend a little money. Cheap lingerie is, well, cheap. Good lingerie says I think you’re sexy. I want to celebrate that, and this would look lovely on you. Spend the money.
  2. Jewelry. It doesn’t have to be THE ring, but a nice piece of jewelry is always welcome. Put time and thought into it, and you should be okay.
  3. A beautiful bouquet of flowers. Not the gas station grab, but from a real flower shop, a well-done arrangement, especially if you know their favorite flowers.
  4. A home-cooked meal. Well planned, well executed, good china, candles, music, the whole nine-yards. Show off a hidden skill and make them a great dinner.
  5. A book of erotica. Why not read some stories of delight and then act out your favorite scenes? Nothing gets the blood going like stimulating the mind and the imagination. And you’d be surprised how much someone can enjoy being read to. Glass of wine, candlelight, your voice, and some good erotic writing.

There you go. Now, off you go and get that gift.

And those gifts, the good ones, are not couples-only gifts. There is no reason you cannot get yourself a lovely bunch of flowers, cook yourself a nice dinner with a good bottle of wine. We pass on so many things because they’re not the expected or the rules. Why do we have to wait for good things because we’re single? Why do we have to wait for this day to express our love and care for someone, especially when that someone is ourselves?

Summing Up

Valentine's Day holds significance beyond romantic relationships, even for those who find themselves flying solo. It's a celebration of all forms of love, including self-love, familial love, and platonic connections. This day serves as a reminder to prioritize self-care, express gratitude, embrace independence, and redefine our perceptions of love and connection. So, whether you're single or in a relationship, take this Valentine's Day as an opportunity to celebrate the love that surrounds you and the love that resides within you. After all, love knows no boundaries and transcends the confines of a romantic partnership.