Safe from AI. Isn’t that a weird statement? Technology has given us this tool, this miraculous engine that will give us answers, talk to us like a friend, help us build a presentation deck, write a thank-you card, and more, and our first thought is, how do we protect ourselves from this thing we created?
At any given moment in New York City, there are roughly 4,000 hot dog vendors parked on streets, on walkways, in parks, and in front of museums. That’s a lot of hot dogs, knish, skewers of spiced chicken, and hot soft pretzels being handed through windows of carts all over the city. Some spots, prime spots like the area near the Central Park Zoo, command specialty permits that can cost as much as $400,000 per year. Hot dog vendors work hard, make questionable money, and have to fight tooth and nail for the right spot to set up and sell.
There are roughly 63,000 professional dog walkers in the United States, supporting a 1.3 billion dollar industry. This doesn’t take into consideration the folks who use dog walking as a side hustle. The national average puts a dog walker at about $35,770 per year, which can go up to $100,000 with the addition of premium features, group walking, and hiring staff for extra service. If you like dogs, walking, and being outside in all kinds of weather, maybe this is a good gig for you.
Here’s another one. The entire window cleaning industry in the United States currently employs over 100,000 people. There are an estimated 35,344 businesses offering window cleaning services nationwide, and the good news is that number is projected to increase significantly as high-rise buildings are being built in cities across the country.
So why these three jobs? What do they have in common, and what the hell are you even writing about? All good questions, and be patient, I’m about to make a point.
These are three jobs that fear no takeover by AI. Yup, that’s the point. No AI hot dog vendors, dog walkers, or window cleaners. I’m sure some jackal is going to say that eventually technology will come up with an AI system to clean windows, and it will be like the mini rainstorms that cross the kale and Swiss chard at the Safeway. Some type of trigger will activate sprinklers, and the windows on the 289th floor will be magically cleaned. Maybe, but for now, window washers are safe from the clutching, soulless rise of the AI dragon.
Safe from AI. Isn’t that a weird statement? Technology has given us this tool, this miraculous engine that will give us answers, talk to us like a friend, help us build a presentation deck, write a thank-you card, and more, and our first thought is, how do we protect ourselves from this thing we created?
Okay, if that’s the mindset, then I’m on board. How do we protect ourselves from this thing we created?
Our Jobs!
The information age, also called the digital age, began in about 1947 with the invention of the transistor and includes this time, 2026, as well. This is an age of computerization and data, instant answers to questions we’ve needed answers to in the middle of lunch, as well as the big questions that society has pondered for ages. This is also the age of AI.
With all this new technology and whatever is coming down the pike, and yes, that is the proper term, pike being short for turnpike. Not down the pipe, however, that is now widely accepted because pike was misheard, and a number of people have no idea what a turnpike is. We all know that a pike is a fish. If you didn’t know that, just Google it.
Now we’re all wondering if our jobs are safe. Will we be replaced by AI? Will the windows of massive office buildings show us a clear view of empty desks and working computer screens as AI moves into offices and jobs worldwide? It’s certainly something that I, as a copywriter, worry about. But there are safe jobs, like the three we discussed at the top of this piece. Jobs that just cannot be taken over by an algorithm. Jobs that require a human touch, empathy, which, no matter how advanced it becomes, is something that AI will never be able to duplicate or meaningfully express.
This isn’t the start of a bad sci-fi film, and trust me, I know a bad sci-fi film when I’m in one. No, this isn’t a rallying cry against the machine. It’s just some truth. Yes, technology is advancing, but since 1947, when the transistor was invented, it has always been in the rearview, gaining on us, promising a better future while making our stomachs churn at the thought of losing our jobs to some Silicon Valley creation. So not a rallying cry, but a breathe deeply, stay the course, and think pleasant thoughts, like puppies and kitties, chocolate and Playboy bunnies and bourbon type thoughts. Yes, technology is cold, unfeeling, and the needs of the many and all that, but we’re in this together, so let’s figure it out together.
AI Thieving Jobs
Maybe you’re sitting around wondering if your job is safe in this AI age. Or maybe you’re sitting in front of the TV, drinking a beer, and thinking, let some AI drone monkey take my job, they can have it. Either way, we need to ground ourselves in some reality.
One reality is that yes, AI will take some of our jobs. I know my boss is champing at the bit to replace me with AI, or a sheep, or a ham sandwich.
Recently, Microsoft released a list of 40 jobs that, as they say, have high AI crossover. And on that list sits teachers. Good luck with that. I mean, when I was back in school, we would salivate at the prospect of a substitute teacher for a day, the havoc we dreamed of causing, the tears she would shed as the class rose up against her, and her audacity in thinking she could come into our class fresh-faced and teach us anything. Make that teacher an AI generation, then sit back and watch as a kid with minimal computer skills turns the thing off or reprograms it to be a fighting bot and takes over the school. Apart from teachers, the list also includes historians, interpreters and translators, mathematicians, proofreaders, and automatic machine coders, to name a few. That feels grim, I know, but we’re looking for the silver lining here and not more reasons to panic.
There are many, many jobs that AI cannot touch. Microsoft’s list shares 40, including orderlies, floor sanders and finishers, pile driver operators, logging equipment operators, and dishwashers, just to name a few. But if we think about it, there must be more, right? This piece of advice has been circulating among job specialists and hiring professionals forever; If no one is hiring you, make your own work. There are several variations to this advice. If no one is offering you a seat, bring one. If no one is paying attention to you, build something they cannot ignore. Or my favorite, if you’re going to start a new profession and you happen to pass a hot dog cart, can you get me one with everything?
That last one has nothing to do with work, but I do like a good street dog. The point is, in the age of AI, this phrase, this little bit of employment advice, rings more true than ever. So with that in mind, we are going to share some job ideas that are certainly AI-proof.
Safe Jobs
The jobs that will be the safest during this wonderful age of artificial intelligence are the ones with the most human qualities, the in-person jobs, and those that require access to the full gamut of human emotions, including empathy. Touch and emotion will rule the roost when AI finally completely takes over.
In the meantime, in an effort to ease the minds of my readers, all five of you, I offer this charcuterie board of job possibilities that are safe in the age of technology. In the service of making your own work, I am making most of these up.
Finger Nail Clipping Collector
The great artist Pablo Picasso was crazy with fear that if his hair or fingernail clippings ever fell into the “wrong” hands, they could be used to cast spells against him or to cast hexes on him. This, to some, may sound weird. To me, it sounds like a job opportunity. There are plenty of freaks and scaries in the world who would be easily swayed into thinking there are those seeking to hex them, so you start your own nail and hair clipping saving service.
Bread Crust Eater
In 1995, two fathers solved the my kids won’t eat the bread crust struggle by inventing Uncrustables. These were wrapped frozen, PB&J sandwiches. The idea took off, and now even NFL players eat them like they are going out of style. However, they are pricey. So if you have picky kids and really don’t have the dough to buy crust-free frozen PB&J sandwiches, hire a crust eater. These are people who come to your house and eat the crusts of bread that your kids won’t.
Reality Sheriff
This is a modern version of the old Roman practice of an auriga standing next to a victorious Roman general and saying, “Respice post te! Hominem te esse memento!” which translates to look behind you, remember you’re a man. From time to time, you or maybe a close friend have stepped across the boundaries of reality and ventured into a land of terrible choices. Sometimes we learn a lesson, and sometimes people just openly mock us as we go about our days because of these forays. What you need is someone to tell you the truth. Not a friend, because a true friend wouldn’t get off on insulting you, and they would be gentle with your feelings. That’s when you need a reality sheriff. Can I wear this twelve-year-old Doobie Brothers t-shirt to your sister’s wedding? I look cool in it. Reality sheriff: “You look like an idiot. Take that off, put on a collared shirt and a nice jacket, and stop embarrassing your wife in public.” Thanks, sheriff.
Pie Thrower
We’ve all been there. Someone is mouthing off, going on and on about this or that, and you dearly wish you had a pie to throw at them so they’d stop. But you never do. Now all that is changed. You can start a pie-throwing business. Now this doesn’t have to be just for hitting obnoxious people in the face with pies. It can be events. Office Christmas party? How about an office pie fight? Let’s throw birdseed at the wedding because rice is bad for the birds. How about we throw pies at the wedding? I’ll meet you at high noon on Main Street, and we’ll settle this like men. How about I’ll meet you on Main Street at high noon, and we’ll settle this like clowns.
Plant Psychiatrist
We have human psychiatrists and pet psychiatrists. Why not plant psychiatrists? Now plants don’t experience emotions or feelings like humans do. However, they do have complex sensory systems that allow them to perceive, process, and respond to their environment through sophisticated chemical and electrical signals, a capability often termed plant sentience. They feel and respond to light, water, gravity, physical touch, and threats, communicating danger to neighbors and preparing defenses. That’s where you come in. The broccoli from our garden doesn’t taste right. You swoop in, have a session with the broccoli, discover it is fearful of rejection, you give the broccoli tools to overcome this fear, and it tastes better. Bingo, safe job.
Forehead Wiper
How often have you been giving a serious speech, you think you’ve calmed your nerves, and you’re fine, when suddenly mid speech your forehead is dripping with sweat? Sure, you can pull out your hanky, break your rhythm, and dab your forehead, risking a loss in concentration, a public admission of your fear, or worse, you have no hanky, and you unconsciously wipe your head with your sleeve. Goodbye promotion. Now you have a professional head wiper at your side. They watch and slip in when the water levels on your forehead reach high tide. You don’t stop your speech or lose connection with the audience because in comes the wiper. They quickly and professionally wipe your forehead, and you don’t miss a beat. Hello promotion.
Pet Food Taster
Your bull mastiff keeps leaving cathedral termite sized piles in the neighbor’s yard. Your cat keeps using your neighbor’s putting green and sand trap as a litter box. Your pet leopard keeps eating the neighborhood kids. Pets, they’re always getting you in trouble, and there’s always some nefarious type in the hood who will seek revenge. If you have a criminal pet and fear for its life due to possible retaliation from angry neighbors, you know that the easiest way to solve the problem from your neighbor’s point of view is to poison the pet. Avoid this potentially terrible loss by getting your pet a food taster. They will follow your pet and taste anything before the pet does. This means dish food, sidewalk droppings, and treats from the friendly grocer. Anything that goes in your pet’s mouth will first be taste-tested by your own pet food taster.
And that’s just a few off the top of my head. I am sure with imagination, serious drugs, and some grit, you could come up with more jobs on your own. Jobs that are safe from AI.
All Kidding Aside
All jokes aside, the reality is less dramatic and a lot more human than the headlines would have us believe. We aren’t all going to be replaced by AI. Not even close. What’s actually happening is a reshuffling. AI is very good at pattern recognition, speed, and scale. It can summarize, draft, calculate, predict, and optimize faster than any human ever could. That part is real, and pretending otherwise is wishful thinking.
But AI also has hard limits. It doesn’t have lived experience. It doesn’t have intuition. It doesn’t understand context the way humans do, especially the messy, emotional, contradictory context that defines real life and real work. It doesn’t sit across from someone and feel the room shift. It doesn’t read between the lines because it has never stood in them.
The jobs most at risk aren’t the ones that require creativity, judgment, trust, or care. They’re the ones that are already rigid, repetitive, and stripped of human discretion. The more a role can be reduced to inputs and outputs, the easier it is to automate. The more it depends on empathy, improvisation, accountability, and human connection, the harder it is to replace.
That doesn’t mean everyone is safe, and it doesn’t mean we get to do nothing. It means the future of work asks something different of us. It asks us to lean harder into the parts of ourselves that are uniquely human. Taste. Ethics. Humor. Responsibility. Relationship. Those things don’t show up in a training dataset. They show up when things go sideways, and someone has to make a call.
AI will absolutely change how we work. It will change what we’re hired for. It may even change how we define value. But it isn’t coming for our humanity unless we hand it over voluntarily.
The Takeaway
At ThoughtLab, we spend a lot of time thinking about how people, brands, and systems adapt when the ground shifts underneath them. AI is one of those shifts. Big, fast, and unsettling. But the answer isn’t panic, nor is it blind optimism.
The brands and professionals who will thrive are the ones who understand what technology can do and are crystal clear about what only humans can do. They don’t race to replace people. They design around them. They use tools to remove friction, not meaning. They build work that still requires judgment, care, and taste, because those are the things that last.
AI is not the end of work. It’s a forcing function. It forces us to be more intentional about where we add value, how we show up, and what we choose to protect. If that makes us a little uncomfortable, good. Discomfort is usually a sign that something important is being redefined.
Also, with all the political chicanery going on today, I have a feeling that the job of sin eater is going to make a strong comeback.
